{"id":201,"date":"2021-01-18T07:55:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-18T02:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.smevalueadvisors.com\/blog\/?p=201"},"modified":"2021-04-19T22:46:28","modified_gmt":"2021-04-19T17:16:28","slug":"say-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.smevalueadvisors.com\/blog\/index.php\/say-no\/","title":{"rendered":"Saying No is The Ultimate Superpower Today"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"how<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

After I published an article on the importance of setting priorities for entrepreneurs and leaders<\/a>, I got an email. It read:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Manish, I know what my priorities are. But how can I find time to work on them?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each of us grapples with this question. And the answer to it is simple. Like Mike Flint, Warren Buffett\u2019s pilot, you must learn to say no to anything that\u2019s not a priority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Warren Buffett said, “The difference between successful<\/strong> people and really successful<\/strong> people is that really successful<\/strong> people say no to almost everything.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This means the biggest strength of productive people \u2013 those who do more of the right things instead of trying to do more things right \u2013 is their ability to say no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it makes sense, doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think about it. How often has someone asked you to attend a birthday party of their child and you\u2019ve said, \u201cSure,\u201d only to regret it two days later? How often have you said \u201cYes\u201d to a request but kept delaying it for some reason or the other, even when you knew from the start that you didn\u2019t want to do it? How often have you bought a product just because the salesperson pleaded, but didn\u2019t ever use it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we take stock of our lives, we don\u2019t need most of the things we own, or do most of the tasks on our to-do list. A simple \u201cno\u201d to 80 percent of your tasks will make your life 100 percent simpler.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then why is saying no to tough for us?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saying Yes is Our Default Behavior<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Man and woman are social animals. This means others\u2019 approval and support means a lot to us. This is why, at a subconscious level, we avoid doing anything that could jeopardize this support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saying no is one of them. We feel that if we turn down people\u2019s requests, we might come across as rude, selfish, or egoistic. If we don\u2019t oblige when others ask for something, we\u2019re afraid that they won\u2019t return the gesture when we need it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s the<\/a> \u201cthe uneasy and sometimes all-consuming feeling that you\u2019re missing out \u2013 that your peers are doing, in the know about, or in possession of more or something better than you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is why we attend get-togethers we don\u2019t want to attend just because most of our friends are attending them, buy things we don\u2019t need simply because they\u2019re on sale, pursue opportunities we don\u2019t understand just because everyone is talking about them, and keep checking WhatsApp for new messages every few seconds even when there are none.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But in all this, we fail to gauge the trade-off between what we are doing and what we should be doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each yes you say has a cost in terms of your time and opportunity, and in terms of what you could accomplish and what you could ignore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each time you say yes to the mediocre or the good, you say no to an opportunity to pursue the great. Each time you say yes to a request that seems urgent in the moment, you say no a priority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each time we say yes to the unimportant in the present, we mortgage our future. Likewise, each time we say no in the present, we pave the way for a brighter future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

3 Simple Ways to Say No Without Offending Others<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

As mentioned earlier, we assume that people will either feel hurt or offended by our \u2018no\u2019. But according to research, that\u2019s not the case. Vanessa Bohns<\/a>, associate professor at Cornell University, said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“People don’t take no as bad as we think they will. Chances are, the consequences of saying \u2018no\u2019 are much worse in our heads than in reality.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

So if you can say no with tact, people won\u2019t get offended, and you\u2019ll get more time to work on what\u2019s important to you. Isn\u2019t that great?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are three simple ways to say no without hurting others\u2019 feelings:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Clarify what you\u2019re saying no to.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

When you turn down a request, make it clear that you\u2019re doing so to the request, not the person. Look the person in the eye, smile genuinely and explain why you\u2019re denying the request.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can start with an \u201cI wish I could, but\u2026.\u201d<\/em> to muffle the impact when you decline a request.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Be Firm on Your Decision<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Once you\u2019ve said no (or yes), stick to your guns. Part of effectively saying no involves being gently firm. No arrogance, just firmness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you get convinced against your will, people will recognize a pattern and use it against you. And you will end up where you started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve said yes, put regret and guilt aside and give your 100 percent to the task. You have no way out, so you might as well do the best you can at it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Offer an alternative.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Say you don\u2019t like the location your friends want to visit for a trek<\/a>. At such times, you can do one of two things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can go along quietly and gloomily and not have a good time. Or you can offer an alternative. For instance, you could say \u201cI don\u2019t like the location because there are too many people there. Why don\u2019t we go to another one instead?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or if a team member asks for help when you\u2019re pressed for time, you could say \u201cI have a deadline to meet. Can you ask so-and-so? If nobody helps you, come back after Thursday. We\u2019ll work on it together.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sounds easier, doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, saying no doesn\u2019t mean you never do anything spontaneous or interesting. It simply means you say yes in ways that increase your focus on opportunities that excite you and promise tremendous long-term returns<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saying no means you care about prioritizing your time and energy and devoting it to the things that matter the most to you. Like innovation and growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be proud of saying no to things that are not important to you. Like Steve Jobs, a chronic user of the word \u201cno\u201d famously said<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPeople think focus means saying yes to the thing you\u2019ve got to focus on. But that\u2019s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I\u2019m actually as proud of the things we haven\u2019t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying \u2018no\u2019 to 1,000 things.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Summing Up<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t need a cape and out-of-the-world powers to be a superhuman today. Just build the ability to say no to anything that doesn\u2019t kindle a deep desire in you or anything that distracts you from your long-term goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you do, you\u2019ll witness a spike in your productivity. And when your effectiveness increases, the same happens with your business.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After I published an article on the importance of setting priorities for entrepreneurs and leaders, I got an email. It read: Manish, I know what my priorities are. But how can I find time to work on them? Each of us grapples with this question. And the answer to it is simple. Like Mike Flint, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nSaying No is The Ultimate Superpower Today - SME Value Advisors<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Saying no pulls you away from things that waste your time and lets you focus on the things that truly matter.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.smevalueadvisors.com\/blog\/index.php\/say-no\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Saying No is The Ultimate Superpower Today - SME Value Advisors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Saying no pulls you away from things that waste your time and lets you focus on the things that truly matter.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.smevalueadvisors.com\/blog\/index.php\/say-no\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"SME Value Advisors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-01-18T02:25:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-04-19T17:16:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.smevalueadvisors.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/how-to-say-no-compressed.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" value=\"Written by\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" value=\"Manish Bansal\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" value=\"Est. reading time\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" value=\"5 minutes\">\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.smevalueadvisors.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.smevalueadvisors.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"SME Value Advisors\",\"description\":\"Business Solutions. 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